Stephen K. Hone
18-02-2002, 00:20
As 'most' of the cool/suitable names denoting 4wd capability appear to have been spoken for, It started me thinking about formulating some suggestions,(It doesn't take much!!)And so off I set on an exploration of my "synaptic highways and byways" pursuing,(ROVER PURSUIT?- good for a 4wd ZT-T police-"cruiser" maybe?[Chrysler])some appropriate nomenclature.
Quattro, 4-motion, Cross-Country are very clever names,(Although,Volvo jacked theirs from a 50's Studebaker wagon I.. think?)...so, what is left?. For MG I thought "MARAUDER" would be marvelous because this just reeks of a malevolent quality and of a "go anywhere", rock-pulverising,"Tundra"-"traversing"(Toyota!& Chevy!!)"omnipotence". Great!.... "that's The one!"I said...OH!OH!,....Oh, dear!It turns out that this is some old sixty's "chestnut" that Ford is dusting off for it's Mercury division's 300bhp Grand Marquis!! OH! CRAP!!(Yes, I am aware that Rover used it on one of its "50's prototypes" I Discovered this(Land- Rover!) as I was busy perusing a Rover book at the "all you can read buffet" at my local car book emporium here in sunny So.Calif.(Whaddaya mean?!!,"it's not a lending library!" and to "GET-OUT"!! Sir,... you have wounded my fragile emotional state and so... I'll bid you adieu,and... "I... WILL...TAKE MY LEAVE OF YOU....GOOD-DAY, SIR"!!)Well, it went something along those lines.
So then..No,"Marauder".Pity, wicked name!(and... IT WAS,ROVER's first!)
Okay,so what else is there? hmmm! if Ford supply the mechanicals and FIAT the platform, "FIORD" might work,...NAH!!too...um,.. I don't know...."Boaty" needs to be more land derived.How about Mythical or historical names for inspiration? Ulysses,(FIAT again!) Hannibal, or Ghengis khan perhaps? They sure have that all "conquering feel" that I'm seeking.Mongol horde,perhaps?(That's kinda like... "Hoard". Hey!,that sure sounds Capacious)So,let's see....ROVER-HORDA" roomy...and well traveled!! (Not P.C. enough?)Okay, let's try "SOJOURNER"(NASA) it's got a "wandering" theme going for it, but there's no 'additional' traction implied, but very spacey(like:Discovery)nonetheless ,so it could be ok.
Or,Rover-Forward? no, Let's try... Fourwarder, or.... "4-warder"... warder means"To gaurd".It sure suggests motion and progress, what do you reckon?.. OOOH! wait!this could be good! "Fourager"(Forager)this is just the ticket if Rover markets it toward the, "Gosh!sweetie, we really must load up the 'Fourager' with piggies,And get to the forest tout suite, WE'RE COMPLETELY OUT OF TRUFFLES"!!(Trust me,I'll bet they're out there!).
We can also drop the "R" from the end of FOURAGER if you like,and it sounds Tough again.."FouRAGE".Naughty huh!And, as an added bonus, the Fourager would be equipped with a "feature' that has hitherto: never been seen in the "Great Annals of The Autodom Pantheon"...And That would cause Joe Public to exclaim "What the fu*k do I need this worthless piece of crap for?" but, now that he has it, wonders.."How the heck did I make through the miserable existence that is my life,Without it?"..."LADIES AND GENTLEMEN INTRODUCING: The Worlds first S.U.V. featuring "COME HITHER TECHNOLOGY" and incorporating the latest version of the much lauded, "SWINE- ENCRYPTION-LOGIC/7.0". "Simply drag your extremely priveleged, and tired fat plutocratic ass of off your, Corinthian(Chrysler)leather swaddled Barcalounger-recliner and carefully...(remember,you're shagged out from a hard days work at the "Acme Widget Corporation P.l.c. deciding which of the poor unwashed masses you employ and euphemistically refer to as: "human-resources" too,... EXPUNGE!!)Sidle up to the portal of the modest "stately home" with, "The huge tracts of land"(Monty Python)that is yours and m'ladie's crib, and simply holler "SOOOEE! SOOOEE! and your haughty "PIG-HARDDRIVED-WONDERWAGON" will elegantly alight from it's lavish, 'centrally heated in summer/air conditioned winter'edifice.[Yes I know I've got that backward!But,with oodles of "filthy moola" cluttering up the place the rich can engage in these extravagences].It will then dutifully await your lord and ladyship's arrival on the gravel driveway"!!! Neat Huh! what do you think? Maybe for the print ads the "copy" will need a little expurgation,'cause is it me,or does it sound a wee bit judgemental?
Well anyway.Just a few of my thoughts,...hey!....another idea!!:D Because of the "forage" reference,a little logo/badge for the hatch(cloisonne,if we can get it past the beancounters!)with, three cute li'l pigges! no!... wait! it's 4wd right?...hold it, hold it!(Alert the media!:I've just had a "glimpse of the bleedin' obvious"(Benny Hill)....FOUR LITTLE PIGS RENDERED IN ALL OF THEIR "FULL COLOUR PINK" LOVELINESS!!!...... Just a thought!....Oh!,And thank you all,for dining at the "mental feed trough" that constitutes a major part of my brain.Do come again,Won't you?!!? Stephen kingsley Hone:D :D :D
Quattro, 4-motion, Cross-Country are very clever names,(Although,Volvo jacked theirs from a 50's Studebaker wagon I.. think?)...so, what is left?. For MG I thought "MARAUDER" would be marvelous because this just reeks of a malevolent quality and of a "go anywhere", rock-pulverising,"Tundra"-"traversing"(Toyota!& Chevy!!)"omnipotence". Great!.... "that's The one!"I said...OH!OH!,....Oh, dear!It turns out that this is some old sixty's "chestnut" that Ford is dusting off for it's Mercury division's 300bhp Grand Marquis!! OH! CRAP!!(Yes, I am aware that Rover used it on one of its "50's prototypes" I Discovered this(Land- Rover!) as I was busy perusing a Rover book at the "all you can read buffet" at my local car book emporium here in sunny So.Calif.(Whaddaya mean?!!,"it's not a lending library!" and to "GET-OUT"!! Sir,... you have wounded my fragile emotional state and so... I'll bid you adieu,and... "I... WILL...TAKE MY LEAVE OF YOU....GOOD-DAY, SIR"!!)Well, it went something along those lines.
So then..No,"Marauder".Pity, wicked name!(and... IT WAS,ROVER's first!)
Okay,so what else is there? hmmm! if Ford supply the mechanicals and FIAT the platform, "FIORD" might work,...NAH!!too...um,.. I don't know...."Boaty" needs to be more land derived.How about Mythical or historical names for inspiration? Ulysses,(FIAT again!) Hannibal, or Ghengis khan perhaps? They sure have that all "conquering feel" that I'm seeking.Mongol horde,perhaps?(That's kinda like... "Hoard". Hey!,that sure sounds Capacious)So,let's see....ROVER-HORDA" roomy...and well traveled!! (Not P.C. enough?)Okay, let's try "SOJOURNER"(NASA) it's got a "wandering" theme going for it, but there's no 'additional' traction implied, but very spacey(like:Discovery)nonetheless ,so it could be ok.
Or,Rover-Forward? no, Let's try... Fourwarder, or.... "4-warder"... warder means"To gaurd".It sure suggests motion and progress, what do you reckon?.. OOOH! wait!this could be good! "Fourager"(Forager)this is just the ticket if Rover markets it toward the, "Gosh!sweetie, we really must load up the 'Fourager' with piggies,And get to the forest tout suite, WE'RE COMPLETELY OUT OF TRUFFLES"!!(Trust me,I'll bet they're out there!).
We can also drop the "R" from the end of FOURAGER if you like,and it sounds Tough again.."FouRAGE".Naughty huh!And, as an added bonus, the Fourager would be equipped with a "feature' that has hitherto: never been seen in the "Great Annals of The Autodom Pantheon"...And That would cause Joe Public to exclaim "What the fu*k do I need this worthless piece of crap for?" but, now that he has it, wonders.."How the heck did I make through the miserable existence that is my life,Without it?"..."LADIES AND GENTLEMEN INTRODUCING: The Worlds first S.U.V. featuring "COME HITHER TECHNOLOGY" and incorporating the latest version of the much lauded, "SWINE- ENCRYPTION-LOGIC/7.0". "Simply drag your extremely priveleged, and tired fat plutocratic ass of off your, Corinthian(Chrysler)leather swaddled Barcalounger-recliner and carefully...(remember,you're shagged out from a hard days work at the "Acme Widget Corporation P.l.c. deciding which of the poor unwashed masses you employ and euphemistically refer to as: "human-resources" too,... EXPUNGE!!)Sidle up to the portal of the modest "stately home" with, "The huge tracts of land"(Monty Python)that is yours and m'ladie's crib, and simply holler "SOOOEE! SOOOEE! and your haughty "PIG-HARDDRIVED-WONDERWAGON" will elegantly alight from it's lavish, 'centrally heated in summer/air conditioned winter'edifice.[Yes I know I've got that backward!But,with oodles of "filthy moola" cluttering up the place the rich can engage in these extravagences].It will then dutifully await your lord and ladyship's arrival on the gravel driveway"!!! Neat Huh! what do you think? Maybe for the print ads the "copy" will need a little expurgation,'cause is it me,or does it sound a wee bit judgemental?
Well anyway.Just a few of my thoughts,...hey!....another idea!!:D Because of the "forage" reference,a little logo/badge for the hatch(cloisonne,if we can get it past the beancounters!)with, three cute li'l pigges! no!... wait! it's 4wd right?...hold it, hold it!(Alert the media!:I've just had a "glimpse of the bleedin' obvious"(Benny Hill)....FOUR LITTLE PIGS RENDERED IN ALL OF THEIR "FULL COLOUR PINK" LOVELINESS!!!...... Just a thought!....Oh!,And thank you all,for dining at the "mental feed trough" that constitutes a major part of my brain.Do come again,Won't you?!!? Stephen kingsley Hone:D :D :D