Stiff

As I walk into the bed chamber I gaze upon the splendour of the person writhing in the silken bed.

I tread carefully up the 125.7 steps while gently cupping my chin. I make a noise. The person sits up startled. It turns out to be Curgy in a long flowing wig.

Curgy proclaims that he was just experimenting, I scoff at his attempts to redeem himself and hit him with a small rodent, possibly a rabbit. As I leave the bed chamber I am twirling myself round like a meat helicopter...

I work up the courage to confront the .Org monster. I wonder in with nothing but a borrowed proshetic leg for my weapon.

A low, inhuman bellow is heard. A vile stench fills my nostrils. A cross between petrol and sulphur with a hint of paprika. I follow the noise, and the smell gets more and more putrid. I can no longer breathe without violently dry wreching. After what seems an age, I find the source of the howling. Stu C is sat on a throne in agony from his lamb Bhuna and...

I find myself shackled to the underground railway station with the midget jumping up and down waving a small kitten in the air.

My mind races. What could this be? Is it a pleasure to be chained down in the path of an oncoming train? Is it punishment for goosing the nun I saw last week?

Who knows? Who cares?

The train made it's imminent approach. I can hear the sounds of the heavy metal wheels grinding against the parrallel rails. Vibration move through...

Six penny chews and a small goat. That's what it cost me to ride the elevator in what could only be described as a hellish heaven catering to the sick and twisted desires of men.

I walked down the stairs into the first chamber. Awaiting me was a man dressed as the horned guy from Dungeon Keeper. He offered me a drink of my choice. I choose a long island ice tea. Horned guy hands me my drink.
The drink flowed into my mouth with a wash of pleasure gripping my taste buds. ...